My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother
BFF: Grandmother I need to talk to you
Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
BFF: No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
BFF: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.
I don’t give a shit about grand gestures or flowers at my door, I just want your teeth across my neck and my lips pressed to the small of your back, I want your stupid fucking sense of humour making me laugh at 4am when I have to be up at 6.